Let's start with a whole "my life sucks" post, shall we?
E-chan hates me. Basically because I'm religious and she doesn't want me to be putting any religious pressure on Nil (who is my boyfriend at the moment) to become religious as well. Fine. I don't force him to come with me anywhere and I don't constantly yell at him that he's going to hell, but that apparently isn't enough. I have to not be "Christian" at all, which is impossible, by the way. It's part of who I am.
Oh! Other note. I haven't been going to church for several months. I have no idea if people back there remember me at all or if they care. I miss it. a lot.
Basically right now I want to rip apart my insides and spread the steaming entrails to symbolize what I'm feeling at the moment. Fantastic imagery, yes?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!
Dear Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this is gonna help, but you can tell E-Chan that Nil CHOSE to date you. Of course, you REALLY liked him, and really wanted to date him, yet, you did not FORCE him to date you. It is his choice. And Nil chose to date you knowing that you were a Christian. You never lied to Nil about this. So, it means it does not bother Nil that you are a Christian. If Nil is happy, why is E-Chan complaining?
Also, I think love & relationships are important, and that it is worth putting efforts into having a good relationship with your romantic partner. Yet, when you are in love with someone, he should not force you to give up things that are most important to you, like your family or your religion. If ever a partner wants to prevent you from expressing your religious beliefs, doing religious things and stuff like that, or if a partner repeatedly does things that affect negatively your relationship with your family, then he is not a good partner for you.
I would never date someone who does not accept me as a Christian. Nil does not have to be a Christian, but he has to accept that you are one, and I am sure he does!
By the way, this is Bubble B. Ask Nil how to add the option post anonymously, or whatever option that would make posting comments easier!
Actually, you already have the options "Name/URL" and "Anonymous" on your other blog (Sun). Just add those options on this blog too.
ReplyDeleteThis post even though negative, was ok, but... this part about your steaming entrails... You make me shudder. It is not just a sad/angry blog, it is a scary blog.
Anyway. *Hugs*
Bubble B.
I apologize for causing you to shudder. That was a little too far, on my part...
ReplyDelete*hugs*
I was not at my best that night. Angry, upset, wanting to destroy things...
Whenever I get those kinds of feelings I internalize them and I usually end up wanting to destroy myself rather than other things or other people. Not a good reaction, and often rather terrifying for other people if they hear my internal dialog. Again, I'm sorry.
Also, thank you for commenting. You're a good friend.
ReplyDelete*more hugs*